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Why Do We Keep Breaking Up?

Everyone has experienced a relationship where they breakup, but find themselves back together several months later. Some can patch the problems and work towards a long term relationship.

But others get stuck in this cycle of the "breakups". What's behind the constant fighting and separations and can you solidify your bond once and for all?

Like most problems in life you have to find the true source of the breakups before you can move forward.

Are You Right For Each Other?

You know you're drawn to one another, even after multiple breakups. Most try to focus on the "why". Why do you breakup and then come back together. For some it's an emotional or physical bond that is unlike any other relationship you've ever had.

It's special. It's a different kind of connection that both of you know is hard to find.

That thing that brings you back together, the "why" isn't easily duplicated. You can't just move on to the next partner and ensure that same type of connection.

So let's put the why off to the side for a moment, and focus on whether it's "right".

Not if your partner is good enough for you. Not if your family or friends like them or not. The determining factor for whether it's "right" is if you can see yourself happy five or ten years from now.

Some people are drawn to one another but they ultimately make each other miserable resulting in a breakup. At some point you'll need to acknowledge whether or not the problems are so fundamental that the cycle will be continuing five years from now.

Is the problem causing the breakups still going to be there ten years from now? Things like religious differences, or destructive behavior by either of you is something that will persist over time.

How To Stop The Breakups

Oddly enough some people subconsciously seek the breakup if they know it's not permanent. No one wants to breakup and lose their best friend, but for someone caught up in a cycle of never ending breakups it's different.

It becomes like a dance.

You know the moves, you know the rhythm and it becomes part of what defines you and your relationship. An added element, that's a guilty pleasure most don't like to acknowledge, is the drama.

It creates drama and a bit of excitement in the normal boring behaviors we call life.

So how do you stop this behavior? First, you have to acknowledge that it's happening. Then you have to collectively decide that the relationship will either work or it won't.

You both deserve to be happy, and if you can't be happy together then you'll have to move forward and be happy without one another. It's the threat of losing the relationship that will keep it together and help you make progress towards long term happiness.

If you both know or believe that every breakup is only temporary then there's no compelling reason not to breakup.

Try The Magic Of Making Up.

See Also:

Why do men cheat on their girlfriend?

My girlfriend's family hates me

My ex doesn't return my text messages

How the magic of making up works

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