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Why Do Men Cheat On Their Girlfriends?

Men are often stereotyped as simplistic and against commitment, but reality isn't quite that simple.

There isn't one cookie cutter answer as to why men cheat. It's a very complicated, and frustrating topic for many women. With all men, though, perception of self and the relationship play a primary role leading to infidelity.

The Serial Cheater

It's a common misconception that all men are dogs, and will try to sleep with every woman they find attractive even if they're in a relationship. Most men, however, are very loyal and want to be in a committed relationship.


There are those few rotten apples that have the "conquering" mentality. They need, absolutely need, to be with a new partner as a relationship progresses.

The reason for this need is often complicated, and oddly enough involves a degree of insecurity. They need to be with a new person to feel like a "real man".

They're actually intentionally sabotaging a stable relationship to compensate for their insecurity as a man. It won't take long to see the traits of a serial cheater.

If they've had bad breakups from past relationships that didn't last very long you will have enough of a pattern to see what's coming. You may want to be different, and you'll try to convince yourself that you are, but if several of his past relationships have ended because of cheating it is likely to happen again.

Why Most Men Cheat

A large percentage of men do not qualify as serial cheaters. They don't have a personality or insecurity issue that leads them to cheating on you.

In most cases it's not the man, but how he perceives the relationship that leads to problems.

What he sees, and what he wants. So everything may seem fine to you, and you're genuinely happy, but from his point of view there are problems.

When he sees things in the relationship that are missing, like trust or intimacy, he may find it easier to find a new mate rather then directly addressing the issues.

It may not make a lot sense, and doesn't even seem logical, but it's usually how cheating plays out.

You're not as close as you used to be. The intimacy is waning, and there's constant fighting and tension.

To compensate for what he perceives to be missing in his current relationship, he seeks in another. It's clearly a bad, and hurtful decision, but it's often a common line of thinking.

If you're having trouble maintaining a happy relationship because of cheating or constant fighting you can find more helpful advice in the magic of making up.

See Also:

How to get over a breakup

Saving a marriage from divorce

My ex doesn't return my text messages

How the magic of making up works

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