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The Urgency Of Reconciling A Family

The dynamics of reconciling a relationship that includes children can have an adverse effect on your decision making.

When a boyfriend and girlfriend breakup, the loss of future happiness drives you into bad decisions. When it's a family that breaks up, the pressure to reconcile can feel overwhelming.

You're not just trying to recapture the possibility of happiness, you're trying to preserve the interests of your children. You don't want them to lose a parent. You assume the needs and desires of multiple parties.

It's a huge amount of pressure and dramatically increases the urgency you feel.

Something you should take into account is that time is on your side, because of your children. When a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship ends with no children, there is no existing bond to keep them together.

They're both free to go their separate ways.

When you have kids, you will have constant contact to discuss their interests. So the perceived pressure to reconcile RIGHT NOW, isn't fully warranted.

The important thing is to preserve a positive communication. You will have to communicate, so keep it friendly.

It's a common thought process to use the interests of your children as a way to influence their decision. It's an effective argument, because they love your children too. But their decision will be made out of guilt, which they'll end up resenting at a later date.

As with all reconciliations, you want to guide your ex to reconcile without using pressure or guilt to influence their decision.


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