TW Jackson, The Magic Of Making Up

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Why Can't I Tell My Ex How Much I Miss Them?

You love them. You miss them. You want them back. Your relationship, your life, your family -- you just want to start over. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Maybe they're having second thoughts.

The urge to tell your ex how much you love them and how much you want them back becomes very powerful. You don't want to look back and think "If I just told them how much I loved them, they would have come back".

Your heart is broken, and a bit of panic and desperation are most likely starting to influence your thought process.

It sounds like a good idea. Because it's the truth. You do love them, you do want them back. You are sorry for everything that's happened. It's the truth. Why can't you tell this to your ex?

Because it's not part of the persuasive process when trying to influence someone's decision. It's actually counter productive. You'll end up adding a tone of pressure to your existing communication while making yourself less desirable.

You desperately want the back. But a desperate partner is NOT an attractive partner.

To win your ex back and save your relationship you'll need to do so in a subtle, less direct manner. When you openly confess your urgent desire to reconcile you actually trigger a thought process in your ex that pushes them away.

We want what we can't have. It's been proven in psychological studies how influential scarcity can be. The less you're available, the more they'll want your affection.

The exact opposite is also true. The more you confess how much you want them back, the perceived value of your affection declines significantly.

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