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How To Save My Marriage

Is there a difference between saving a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and a marriage in trouble?

All failing relationships will suffer from the same symptoms but to different degrees. A boyfriend-girlfriend relationship often suffers from commitment issues, and other problems that are usually easy to resolve.

A failing marriage struggles at the communication level. Because the relationship has existed for an extended period of time your ex might mix arguments and issues.

Issues your ex has had for years and years will be expressed in current arguments. It becomes one massive argument about dozens of problems. Making progress and resolving issues becomes incredibly difficult.

Where do you start?

The most important thing is to be prepared. Not for an argument, but to resolve the issues. Step back from the fight. It's very hard to do because you will have a strong, opposing view point that can be difficult to let go.

Ask yourself, what does your ex want to hear? Then ask yourself why they need to hear it.

Do they want you to apologize for something? If so, why? Why is this issue so important to them that they absolutely NEED to be right?

It's not enough to say you're sorry. You have to identify with their issues, and understand why it's so important to them. When they realize that you understand their pain, that you can identify with their issues -- that's when the fight stops.

You can't start working on the issues until the fight has stopped. The initial steps of the Magic Of Making Up is designed to help with this stage.

You're going to tell your ex with the opening letter, "The fight is over. We're not going to argue about this anymore. We're just going to talk."

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